[attr="class","tbeapponetop2"]

[attr="class","tbeapponetop3"]

[attr="class","tbeapponeper2"]



✿ treading the path that others have walked before me
[break][break]
how does one reconcile trauma and innocence? how does one stay positive in a mire of negativity and despair? how does a single flower bloom on scorched earth? questions like these seem to apply to cyan. her smile, her never give up attitude make her look like the sun on a rainy day. she's the eye of the storm, the whirling things around her seemingly nothing as she walks forward with serenity and happiness. but is that the truth, some might wonder? yes and no. cyan is a person that likes to suppress her own pain, worries and anxiety for the sake of others. people get worried if you're upset or sad - and so, cyan tries to avoid becoming upset or sad to the point she's a fool. but maybe that's just what makes her beautiful, or innocent.
[break][break]
but breaking, breaking is something that cyan knows well. she keeps her smile, her kindness like a shield, protecting her from acknowledging the darkness. she shields herself in idealism, in believing in everyone, in simply trying to live with her dream glasses on. but she knows how it is to be miserable - she knows the sides of darkness, and she's not stupid, even if she does stupid things. she just refuses to acknowledge anything but the childish self that people seem to get attached to, the friendly outside that hides how broken she truly is. or perhaps that's not a lie at all, and she's just torturing herself. who knows anymore?
[break][break]
she doesn't, that's for sure.
[break][break]
✿ hopefully guiding me to whom I am supposed to be[break][break][break]

postitive traits innocent, bold, energetic, social, hard-working, positive, resourceful

negative traits naive, gullible, idealistic, escapist, loyal, autophobic, uncomplaining

[attr="class","tbeapponebio2"]

✿ I see you and I know that what I'm supposed to do next

cyan umi was born in pallet town, city of champions! her mother was born in viridian, and her father was native to pallet town and they so fell in love several years ago. her mother had always been off, however, often leaving for long periods of time due to her work. she claimed she was a publicist, and she worked hard promoting her clients, and her father himself was just living on the inheritance from his grand-parents. whilst her mother loved pokemon, her father neither held like or dislike towards them. he didn't really care, and didn't see why people made such a fuss over them. but despite that, the two were in mad love.
[break][break]
unluckily, her mother got pregnant, and after giving birth, left for a two year job opportunity. once it was stable enough, she'd said, then she'd bring them over. now before you assume, that wasn't cyan that was born then. no, it was her elder brother, and well, he moved to go with mother for another two years, so did her father. and then they came back to pallet, and stayed there for another three years. at that time, her mother was pregnant was herself, and was returning from a trip to pewter city. and in the middle of the viridian forest, her mother's water broke.
[break][break]
so cyan was born on a bed of dirt, mud, leaves and the sounds of wild pokemon surrounding her.

✿ but it's not like I can just write this in text

their little family was happy, surprisingly enough. her brother was kind of like her father, but she was like her mother - she loved pokemon. they all loved each other, and cyan was not necessarily a rambunctious child, but she had energy. and her brother would take care of her, seemingly skipping over the entire 'teenage' phase, and being more mature then he should have been, when he got that old. but the little girl loved her family, so she always did her best to help them. So what if there was weird whispers around the three of them - so what if her mum had left so soon after her brother's birth? so what if her mother vanished a lot, to do her work? the little girl didn't understand why that was bad. and maybe she would have understood if she was older - but her brother went on a pokemon journey and it was just her and dad. and the next thing she knows, he's trying to soothe her as she's crying because something bad was happening whilst they were travelling in saffron and a building seemed to destroy itself and something was wrong.
[break][break]
she wouldn't discover the bare-bones of what happened much, much later.
[break][break]
her brother had returned home after that, shaken. it took him a little while - three years - before he went out again. this time he was going to the nearby region of johto, since less things would happen there right? and he was proven wrong, when a lot of things happened, and eventually, cyan and her father were at the indigo league because her brother was going to fight his way in, and then that happened. she never forgot, however, the faces of the brave souls that seemed to be there. and maybe that's when her curiosity started to be peeked about things. life moved on, and yet more things happened, her brother always accidentally being around in some measure. but soon enough, her brother had enough, and left. they never heard from him again, and she was merely nine when it happened. her beloved big brother, just gone, and it did something to her father - he hadn't understood why her brother went on a pokemon journey despite not really caring about them in the first place - like it broke something inside of him.
[break][break]
the nargles got him then. and all she could wish for, was that one moment she saw someone catch a pokemon for the first time, and remember that as she was only a really small child, so the face she couldn't remember not yet.

✿ so I hope you'll see behind my instinctual reflex

her father had broken and needless to say, it made things difficult for cyan. he became paranoid that she would leave too - what with their mother never coming back after team rocket vanished, her brother that disappeared somewhere in hoenn. so he started to restrict her, to lock her up in her room and not let her leave the house. but cyan never faltered, understanding that her father was just scared he'd lose her too. she'd clean up the beer bottles, the whiskey flasks and the smokes. she'd never get mad when he'd come in, eyes dilated and yelling at her. it was fine, he was just scared, she thought, and she pretended like it wasn't hurting her, because then he'd break down and cry and hug her all night. he'd whisper apologies, buy her new pokemon plushes, and other pretty things. but he never let her go, letting her get tutors and be homeschooled. it was her life.
[break][break]
one of her tutors was telling her stories one day. a friend of a friend, of a friend knew something of what had happened, and showed her a picture of someone that seemed familiar. she then connected the boy that had caught a pokemon for them, and the one that she saw win the championship, it was the same boy. she had gotten excited, and for the first time in a long time? she asked about the outside world. about what was going on out there, and who these people were. and slowly, she learned the stories, and she had her idols - these people were strong, they were doing amazing things. and that made her eyes sparkle in happiness, because that meant cyan could hope.
[break][break]
her tutors left her gifts sometimes. and one day she asked for some pokemon - and she got them. the same ones as the people she believed in.
[break][break]
sneaking out was hard - but one night, her father had gone to the store. she didn't have long, so she quickly snuck out, the clothes on her back, a small backpack and whatever money she could take from her father's hiding place. she was going to go on her own journey! she never relaxed, not until she got on the boat.
[break][break]
and now she was here, remembering that she heard rumours that her idols were here. she was excited, and she knew she couldn't stop, no matter what.
[break][break]
her time was now.